I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Randomize
