haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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