No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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