Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
