Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
