im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you remember whose house we're in?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
