He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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