I got chris browned last night
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You are the jesus of drinking
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
God, I missed his penis.
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