question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
