hell yes lets make some ravioli
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
