she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
