you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
