I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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