Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
