I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
