So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
