these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
