You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Can you bring me the toilet please
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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