Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
