I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
