I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
wow bdsm is so cute
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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