I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
