So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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