guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
where are my eyebrows?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
