Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
