If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I need to stop coming to work sober
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
