If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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