Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
