so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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