You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
