You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
