I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
