I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
