I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
