Taylor Swift is so right about you.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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