just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
