R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
