Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Someone came in the potted fern
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
