If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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