I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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