I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
