You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
