So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
