My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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