I want you more than these girls want KFC
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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