So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dignity is for republicans.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
