There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Randomize
