i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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