Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
