i permit you to call me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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