Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
