I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
